I have been receiving emails saying Bain’s test results are in from his muscle biopsy. The results have never been put on his chart online and I am pretty sure the results would appropriately be told through a physical conversation. I called to make sure I wasn’t missing something and I was just assured these results aren’t going to be posted. His results are in, there are just more steps to be taken before we are told what those are. First, his fantastic team meets Wednesday to physically review the tissue themselves and clarify the diagnosis. After that, the team will come up with a treatment plan that best fits Bain. After all of this, the main doctor is going to update his absolutely wonderful nurse and she is going to call me next friday. This is going to be the longest week of our lives!
These next steps tell me that I should start preparing and praying. Hearing the words “results are in” and “treatment plan” tell me that I am probably not going to hear the words “everything is great and this is all over!” We have been walking this walk through the valley, thanking God for His grace the whole way. I now know that I should start preparing for an extended trek through the valley. All I can muster up to say out loud about this is, “Feet don’t fail me now.” 18 months of knowing something was different, not wrong or bad, with Bain. 18 months of walking down the path of doctor’s visits, hospital stays, NICU stays, near death experiences, shaken faith, strengthened faith, lab works, and so many tears, my feet have grown weary. I feel a break in me. I honestly think if it weren’t for the hope of Christ, comfort from the Holy Spirit, and the presence of God that I would be a mess. Psalm 23 is very appropriate for such a time as this.
Psalm 23The Message (MSG)
A David Psalm
23 1-3 God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
Grace and Peace.